Life! It goes on. But sometimes it's really hard.
We've all been there. What's a good way to deal? Even better, how can we get that blissfully happy, satisfied, fulfilled feeling?
I like to say I actually stumbled on this, in a way. It was NOT quick or easy, but I am happy to report I have not only created a life worth living, but one that makes me want to get up in the morning and be grateful. I want that for you - I want you to have the passion for life (and career) like I do!
Let's back up, though. I said this was NOT an easy little journey; the path I've taken is not without difficulties (let's face it - life is rarely fair). I did not get lucky the first or second time I went to college, I have stumbled the heck around looking for a career I could LOVE and keep with it long-term. With that life experience comes some hard-earned wisdom, and I can't wait to share it with you! Read on.
Going back to school or even choosing to take a semester of classes is difficult enough. My cumulative GPA was 2.3 and matched my first round (albeit not to my first choice but who cares I got something and that’s what mattered) and I passed my exam on the first attempt. I worked really hard, studied my buns off, and I had plenty of volunteering and work experience to make up for my previous academics. You can talk about it in your personal statement like I did, but the most helpful thing to me was to hear that my GPA was not reflective of me being a failure (I stressed and struggled so much, my biggest fear in life is failure and I was so hard on myself), it’s just one metric among others and that one number doesn’t define you.
One day you will finally transform from a caterpillar to a mess of goo in a cocoon to a lovely little butterfly. I know it's easy for me to say that now since I am now a successful beautiful butterfly, but that caterpillar goo phase crap was NOT easy. I have pretty much always struggled with not ever feeling good enough. I am still anxious but not nearly as much so. I still struggle with imposter syndrome and I still fear failure overall, but I made it this far. So trust me, it'll be ok, just apply for that job, grad school, etc. Worst-case scenario you fail and try again.
Another thing besides GPA that really stressed me out, for very valid reasons, is the fact that I did not have a coordinated dietetics program so I had to put together my entire DI by myself. I was so stressed it wasn’t funny. I really liked my internship program, but I had to put in a LOT of work to even apply and be accepted, let alone finding preceptors and things associated with rotations. For that reason, I vowed that when I became an RD I would say yes to as many students as possible! I just had my first student as a preceptor earlier this year - I was pumped to pass on my knowledge but also, because I’m so fresh, I am very passionate about making this very long process even a little better for students because I was in their place just a few years ago. Anyhoo...
Let's say you're all done with school now. Thank goodness! Then you graduate and have to find a job. Unless you're super-lucky (I am the opposite of this haha) you probably won't get your dream job right away. You'll probably have to work your way up, gaining experience, hopefully in the field you want but alas, bills don't pay themselves, so you gotta do what you gotta do. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the keychain twice.
Ok, finallly got a job! Yay! I will spare you the total details of my ongoing struggles here but long story short-ish... I got a LTC job in another city, lost a decade-long friendship because the other person was apparently jealous and/or mad at me for moving away for a FT job offer in my field (what was I supposed to do, all that work for nothing and just get a part-time job where I lived? not with my luck!), the LTC job plus studying for the RD exam was exhausing on a whole 'nother level but at least I was finally getting paid to be a dietitian, I passed the boards but then they fired me for being sick for too long and not answering their calls when I was trying to rest & recover (sigh... oh well), then I was unemployed during which I worked on smaller projects including this wonderful website after which I finally got into more acute clinical work which I really wanted. But let's chat about my website struggles for a sec - hang in there, I promise it's worth it.
I am overall pretty good with technology (like I can build a computer from scratch) and I HATED Wordpress with a burning passion. I spent HOURS like half a day trying to get just one page to cooperate. I finally just pulled a rage-quit and switched back to Wix (this is what I currently use) and I love it, it’s so much less of a hassle, I know what I’m doing AND I don’t have to have all that stress making me want to pay more $ to have someone else do it and then have to consult them every time I want to change something. I’ll take user friendliness over more stress, I don't care about how much “better” it is for crap like SEO. it’s just one piece of the puzzle, and the stress and time it’s taking you to get to where you want the website to be isn’t worth it! Such a steep learning curve and I was not wanting to spend more time and money on it. I just wanted a functioning website where I could drive business (as that’s the whole point) that was my own and that I could handle with no frustration and WP was not at all doing that for me. Ok sorry about that, moving on!
Okay so NOW let's say you finally get your ultimate dream role in the career you worked so hard for... but even a dream job is still a job. I am not ashamed to say I do get bored sometimes, we're all human and doing the same thing day in and out for weeks, months, and years at a time is soul-grinding. So take your PTO! But seriously, that isn't a long-term strategy. I am going to share with you, right now, my secrets to finding your passion AND how to move past the weird brain block of getting sick of your dream job (and that's best case scenario - godspeed if you are not yet in your dream role, I do not envy you). So let's talk about purpose.
What is "purpose" exactly? Dictionaries will say it's a noun and a verb, I am talking about the noun here. Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done, or created or for which something exists. Synonyms are things like: desire, aim, reason, objective - you get it. But for my fellow snarky and/or nerdy friends - purpose: it's that little flame that lights a fire under your ass - ha!
Purpose keeps you going strong like a car with a full tank of gas. This determination to succeed is hella motivating. The mindset shift is amazingly effective, it really surprised me but it works! How on earth do you get there? I am so glad you asked.
I recommend asking youself some questions to dig into yourself and find or reconnect to your purpose, which will help you fuel your passion and help you to achieve your goals! Check in with yourself with these questions: What's going well in your life right now and what could improve? What's most important to you in life? What brings you joy? What are your talents? What are you good at even if you don't particularly find it fun? What have people told you you're good at/they admire you for? What sort of impact do you want to have? When do you find yourself losing track of time/when do you find yourself having so much fun that time flies?
If you have already found your passion, I encourage you to regularly check in with yourself to reconnect and reflect on why you find joy and meaning in what you do and reconnect to your base purpose by narrowing down these sorts of identifiers. It gives you perpective, empathy, and trust in yourself. It also arms you with the indubitable power of knowing yourself. While we're at it, this whole paragraph is also a great reason to go to therapy! Considering therapy can help you resolve difficult feelings and explore deeper into what's going on with you.
Maybe you need to just change your perspective! It's normal to feel like you want to feel in control, but you can't directly control what's going on. Try to keep things in perspective and remind yourself that the challenge may seem difficult, but it is not the end of the world. Taking a step back and thinking about the big picture can help you reconsider that there are bigger issues in life than your current struggles.
Or maybe you need to challenge yourself. Try something new! Give yourself permission to quit a task after 10 minutes and ask yourself if you want to keep going or quit. Consider journaling, go to a new park, try a new sport or outdoor activity or maybe an indoor activity if that's more your thing.
Find people who believe in you and can help you when you're feeling down. Remember to lean on your people - whether that’s your friends, family, program directors, etc. That will help you keep your confidence and when your confidence fails as you make mistakes, that support system will keep you encouraged.
Speaking of making mistakes, don’t get down on yourself! As Yoda says: the greatest teacher, failure is. When you get a question wrong on homework or even an exam, it’s hard to be happy about it but try to keep the perspective that you’ll remember it better next time. Being hard on yourself doesn't serve you well and can make you feel worse. Be kind to yourself and others, don't waste time and energy on negative emotions. Positive vibes instead of negavitity! Focus on the good things in your life and try to stay motivated. Even when things are hard, it's important to express gratitude.
Finally, my favorite piece of advice that will serve you well throughout this nutso journey we call life is to remember why you got started with whatever your struggle is. What drew you to that career or relationship or whatever. Whatever or whomever inspired you, when things get difficult (because they inevitably will), try to never forget your reason for doing this in the first place. Best wishes!
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